Dr Uzumaki, Medical Hero
by Mrotrax
Summary: An unexpected turn of events lead to Naruto wanting to become the greatest Medical Ninja of all time instead of Hokage, sparking a change in the ninja world. But don't expect a normal healing doctor; this IS Naruto; a prankster and a ay for his enemies. NaruSakuHina, will take suggestions. Read and review, would ye kindly?
1. Opening

Dr. Uzumaki, Medical Hero

Plot: An unexpected turn of events lead to Naruto wanting to become the greatest Medical Ninja of all time instead of Hokage, sparking a change in the ninja world. But don't expect a normal healing doctor; this IS Naruto; a prankster and a doctor….pray for his enemies. NaruSakuHina, will take suggestions Read and review, would ye kindly?

" _ **There's no Eye in Team"**_

Konoha Hospital was not nearly as busy as it normally was or could've been; no big missions or injured parties to attend to. So, instead of ninja, they were mostly helping civilians with stomach-aches, fevers, flus and other such ailments.

"Could I get some bandages over here?" Hosho called out

"Got it!" A blonde blur maneuvered through the busy hallways and into the rooms. "Hey Kumadori, you still need those tools cleaned?"

"If you can, I'd appreciate it kid."

Naruto Uzmaki, 12 years old, was an intern at the Hospital; the first step of his plan to become the greatest medical-ninja ever.

And passion-aside, he had a LONG way to go.

His chakra control was still terrible, granted his reserve masses; he had enough chakra to power the hospital for a week straight and not be winded. No amount of training in normal ways would fix this, but as his career as a professional shinobi took off, this would be changed. He also had yet to master handling medical tools without twitching or getting nervous, and often mixed up medical terms.

All in all, simple beginger problems.

For the time being, Naruto did know how to perform the mystic palm healing technique's, but whenever he tried to do them, the healing energy covered his entire body. While not exactly an uncommon mistake for new-comers in the medical field, especially Academy students (and if not corrected immediately, a near fatal one), the staff had actually used this to heal sick children and seniors in mass; giving their intern hands on experience and made their workload lighter.

It also had the effect of lowering his hate group significantly; not any people were still willing to call him a demon after seeing the lengths he'd go to help them feel comfortable: he'd sneak in candy for the kids, fluff the senior's pillows and even put on shows for those requested, using E-ranked techiques in place of magic and for sattire. He was also a great conversationalist and listener, despite what his Academic record suggested.

And on the note of academics…

"Hey, don't you have class today, kid?" Hakui asked the youngest member of their team.

"What d'ya mean?" Naruto smiled. He then opened his eyes, his grin faded as he looked at the clock.

8:55 am. The academy started at 9:00am. The hospital was at least 20 minutes away for someone who hadn't learn to roof-hop.

…..

In other words:

"OH SHIT, IRUKA IS GONNA KILL ME!"

"QUIET, THIS A HOSPITAL!" Oyone shouted as she finished giving a little girl a checkup.

"Sorry nee-chan." Naruto whispered, looking to the lead doctor on duty.

"Go ahead, you'll be no good here without that headband." He sighed jokingly, playfully shooing the boy away. No sooner had those words left his mouth, there was a blur of smoke in the blonde boy's place. All the medic-nins rolled their eyes, some out of the humor of the scene/ Naruto's idiocy, some out of affection for the boy and some out of still present dislike for the boy.

As our blonde hero raced to the Academy, stifling a yawn after a 4 hour shift, his mind then wondered back to how this all started

 **8 years ago**

" _Let me have a look at that…"_

 _Those words were what had changed everything for him._

 _He'd been resting in an alley after a prank had gone horribly south. Actually, not a prank…more like trying to steal some good food when no one was looking and staying around a second too long to inspect his prize, rather than fleeing before someone had noticed. After a lengthy chase and a fall down a hill into a stream, the boy had crawled back to an ally when the pain in his bloody leg proved to be too much him._

 _He was now near the outskirts of the village, gasping for air and ignoring the sting from his wound, when he had been approached by someone he'd never seen in the village before; a young brunette woman in a black robe_

 _The pretty lady, as his 4 year old mind would remember her, had knelt down, smiled warmly (and nothing like the villagers' forced/fake ones) and…her hands began to glow. A warm and cooling sensation came from the glow and his wound, which was returning to his normal hue as the blood was sent back into the scrape._

 _Having lived as the village pariah, he didn't know how to react to this; he had known he always bounced back from healing better than most, but to see there were people who helped others and make them feel better…he'd seen parents do that with their children, but assumed that was it; just something parents do._

 _He looked at his leg; no cut, no ache, and then at the lady who'd healed him. He glanced down at his stash of ramen and offered one to her, hoping it would be enough._

" _Oh thank you sweetie, but there's no need for that." She smiled. "I live to help people."_

 _Helping people. A concept that, until just then, had flown over his head. On the one hand he couldn't be blamed for that; having been alone all his life and just struggling to get through the day, he'd been forced to look out for number 1; himself._

 _Suddenly, he saw her fumble through her book and pull out a book, which she handed to him._

" _Here." She smiled. "Read this, it'll help you learn how to heal yourself… and maybe others."_

 _She had then kissed his forehead and wondering off in search of someone whose name he didn't quite catch; but before she vanished, she turned one last time and said:_

" _Be careful, okay?"_

 _For a good two minutes, he did not move; frozen in shock._

 _After that day, Naruto Uzumaki never committed another prank. He still missed a lot of class, but as his future teammates would later find out, he'd had a pretty good reason…._

 **Konoha Academy, present day**

"Uchiha?"

"Here."

"Uzumaki?"

….

"Uzumaki?"

….

"Uzu…?"

"I'M HERE! I'M HERE! I'M HERE!"

Naruto slipped on his feet and rolled into the classroom, hitting his head and butt on each of the stairs led to where the teacher sat. He came to a complete stop when his face slammed into Iruka's desk.

"I'm ok!"

Leaping to his feet, the blonde set his nose back in place, wiped the dust off of his clothes, saluted Iruka and marched to his desk. He wore a white hoodie with symbol of medical ninja on the back, his goggles firmly on his forehead and a medical mask on his neck.

"You're late Naruto….again." Mizuki sighed, making several students laugh at him.

"Yeah I'm sorry about that… Kind of got caught up cleaning medical tools while blanketing quintuplets and doing inventory." Naruto said as he scratched the back of his head, the turning to his class. "And yes, those are real! Ino, please send my regards to your cousin."

And herein was what lay his biggest problem; keeping patient information confidential.

But enough of that, it was time for him to learn. Or rather, try.

"You're only a doctor because it's all you can do, reject." One student snapped. "And even then, you suck at it!"

Some of the students laughed along with this student; all civilian-born children. The Clan children stayed their tongues.

Instead of blowing up as one would expect him to, Naruto just smiled and looked to the person who had said that. He then cleared his throat, took in a deep breath and let it out.

"Sakura-chan?" Naruto asked, asking the class Brainiac and his crush. "Isn't there a clause that clearly states that, and I quote; 'a medical-ninja is, within certain parameters, allowed to deny medical aide to a party member who has not shown the respect they deserve so as long as the aid they require is not life-threatening or dampening the mission?' "

"Healing chapter of the Shionbi charter and regulations, section 8, sub-section P, paragraph 4 and sentence….two, I believe."

Iruka, having pulled out the ninja code book, flipped to the section that had been alluded to

"That is correct."

"Thank you, Sakura-chan." Naruto beamed, giving a gentlemanly bow.

"No problem." The rosette answered a little curtly.

The male blonde in the classroom then adopted a proud smirk when he saw that a few of the students were now understanding what he was getting at.

"Keep that in mind, assholes." Naruto announced. "No one's studied Medical ninjutsu while in the Academy since Rin Nonohora, and it is a severely underappriated part of the ninja arts. We can always find new fighters, spies or seducers. But what about doctors? What's to stop me from remembering this when…?"

"Alright Naruto, you've made your point." Iruka sighed. "Please return to your seat, we'll begin today's history lesson…"

XXXX

After class every day, Naruto returned to the hospital to would do whatever was needed for a few hours being going to Ichiraku's for dinner. Then he'd go to his crummy apartment and sleep for a few hours before doing the same thing over and over again. Many would find this boring, but not Naruto; the hospital shifts were never the same and he felt he learnt more there than in school.

Oyenne had mentioned he was a 'doer' not a 'thinker'; if he'd been born during the Academy's starting years, when everything was more about experience than theory, she mused Naruto would've easily zipped through.

Finally, the day came: The graduation test. He was the second last student…

And it was the Kami-damn Clone Jutsu that was chosen to be the measure of his being worth as graduating.

His worst jutsu.

And he HAD to graduate this year; all the clan kids were graduating; he'd been with them since day one….and this was his third time, dammit!

Yes, an often overlooked/ignored fact was that prior to today, Naruto had actually been legible to graduate and join a team; one in particular, Team Guy, had expressed interest in having him join them. And with that note, Naruto remembered two classmates that he could safely say had been the closest he'd had to friends:

"I miss Bushy Brows and Tenten." He said to no one in particular.

"Iruka, why don't we cut him some slack?" Mizuki asked. "Everyone else made it, this is his third try…"

"Mizuki, the other students could make 3 clones. Naruto only made one full clone, and the other is pa…."

The teacher then realized something.

"Naruto, have your clone attack."

Naruto did as told; the clone punched the wall and left an imprint.

The teacher's eyes widened; that was no illusion that the students all had performed in front of them. It was a shadow clone; far more advanced than the clone jutsu taught at the Academy. And Naruto created one accidentally.

"See Iruka?" Mizuki said. "We should let him…"

Iruka silenced his co-teacher with a raise of his hand.

"I'm sorry, but I can't honestly sign this and not worry about him in the field." He then turned to Naruto, who was already in the process of leaving. "Naruto, I know you wanted…"

"It's fine." Naruto lied, putting on a great big smile. "Another year as an intern should fix that. Excuse me."

He then disappeared in a puff of smoke, appearing outside the hospital staff doors. Seeing no one was around, he let out a roar in frustration and slammed his fist into the ground, venting his frustrations for a good few minutes before panting them away and composing himself as he went to sign in.

He was so distraught he failed to notice the massive cracks and imprints he'd left.

As Naruto opened the sign-in room, he was greeted by the other medical-nins setting up for a party; a banner with his name was being attached to the roof of the room as a cake was being placed down along with plastic plates and forks.

"Hard to believe our little Naru is finally going to be a ninja, huh?" One of them smiled.

"Not going to lie, I am going to miss him. He makes everything brighter. And not just with his choice of attire."

Their faces fell with his own

"What happened?" Hakui asked, concern obvious.

"…I didn't make it."

"WHAT?" They all shouted, shaking the hospital with their one shared word.

"How in the hell did you not make it?!"

"Hell, how are you NOT the kid everyone wants on their team?"

"Who was the proctor? That senior citizen haired prick Mizuki?"

"Now, now, be professional…"

"Well he is a prick!"

Naruto was grateful for his co-workers' care and concern

"How about you take the night and tomorrow off?" The doctor suggested gently. "Sleep it off? If we need you, we'll let you know."

Naruto nodded as he turned to walk away

"Sorry for wasting your time…"

His dejected tone hurt everyone, even the doctors who didn't nessacaryily like him. When she was sure Naruto was far enough, Oyenne then grabbed her jacket with a harsher than normal look on her face.

"I am going to have words with the Hokage. Manage without me."

XXX

Naruto was in the forest, venting his frustrations on whatever tree grabbed his eye when it happened: Mizuki and Iruka had suddenly began fighting, with the latter being injured badly and Mizuki then smirking and beginning some long winded speech.

' _Oh lord…'_ Naruto mused, droning out the speech. ' _It's true what Jiji always said: Traitors and their speeches! Blah, blah, blah, all about me! Blah, blah, blah, nothing you can do to stop me! Blah, blah…Wait I take it back don't kill me! Kami, I've heard anime and fanfic villains with more original dia…wait, is that lavender? How did I not notice?'_

"YOU ARE THE…!"

"Could give me a second?" Naruto asked as he picked up some herbs and flowers he'd somehow missed during his training. "Almost….done. Now…where were we, again? Last I heard was you idiotically getting to stating that I was the Nine tails."

…

….

"You know?" Mizuki asked.

"Of course I know!" Naruto snapped in rage. "I heal fast, have reserves NO human should be able to handle, along with all the whisperings of demon whenever you all think my back is turned, yeah don't think I don't hear those….To say nothing of my actual birthday and how no one is allowed to adopt me. Kami! No wonder you couldn't pass the Jounin test! Anybody who reads the diaries of either the founder or his wife can tell you that!"

Mizuki was shaken long enough for Naruto to make a hand-seal which would soon be dreaded across the Elemental Nations and utter the name of said Jutsu:

"Shadow clone jutsu."

Thousands of the medically inclined Jinchuriki filled the forest

The following beating was euphoric and glorious

"Hey Mizuki, I understand you have an allergy to wheat…" Naruto smiled. "Deadly allergic, if your report stated correctly."

The two Chunnin grew pale at the implications.

"H-hey!" Mizuki whimpered. "P-patient confidentiality!"

"Patient confidentially no longer applies to traitors." The blonde smiled evilly as he took out a syringe and his clone held the white haired man down. "Don't worry, you won't feel a thing."

Mizuki sighed in relief until the syringe pierced his skin and he caught sight of Naruto's sadistic smile.

"You'll feel a lot of things!"

Mizuki's screams were heard throughout the village. He barely survived a painful death thanks to Iruka begging/ reminding Naruto that the traitor would suffer even more in prison.

The day had stated off poorly for Naruto, but it ended joyfully when Iruka gave him a headband and made it clear he did NOT see Naruto as the 9-Tails.

XXX

"I know you wanted to take him in, Kakashi." Hiruzen sighed as he watched the events of the evening end on his crystal ball. "But as you can see….the boy's path has shifted in a way none of us could've foreseen."

It had taken EVERYBODY for a loop when their jinchuriki had decided on becoming the path of a medical ninja; his harshest critics had had very good reasons for believing it wouldn't work out; he was rash and seemingly unintelligent (seemingly ignoring the fact he'd almost graduated twice already) and his chakra reserves were too grand for the fine art of healing, which required precise control.

But they had severely underestimated his passion for the art, and if this event had proven, he could still hold his own in a fight.

"I understand Lord Hokage, but we don't have any Jounin who are adept enough in the medical arts to take him in." Kakashi Hatake pointed out, trying in vain to find a good enough reason to have his beloved sensei's son on his team and trying to block out the memories of one of his teammates in particular.

"No…But we do have one that excels in Genjutsu and tracking." Asuma Sarutobi said, giving Kurenai Yuhi a look. "It's not quite the same, but they do require a keen mind and chakra control."

Kurenai shot the former Guardian a grateful look.

"And with him on the team, he'd be able to inspire confidence in Hinata." Kurenai pointed out, filling some hope filling her being, as long as something else

"Why Nai-chan…you're a shipper!"

Everyone turned to see Anko Mitarashi, Kurenai's best friend and, as many of her enemies called her, 'Konoha's Mistress of Torture', leaning back in the room, picking her teeth with a dango stick as she made her way to the group.

"And I was going to ask if I could take him under my wing…" Anko pouted before turning her attention to the silver haired man in the room. "Besides Kakashi, you'll be busy training the Uchiha brat. Kid may be a genius, but he hasn't unlocked his sharingan yet, so you'll be busy with him."

Everyone had tuned out the rest of Anko's words, instead imagining the horrors that would engulf the ninja lands if NARUTO became her pupil…the images were so awesome and terrifying they made everyone turn white, except the Hokage

"Anko…does your presence here mean you have changed your mind about being a sensei?"

"If its Dr. Blondie, then yes." Anko smirked. "Kid's got a sadistic streak to him and has the right skill set to learn under me…though, not going to lie, I kind of do see him and the Hyuuga princess getting along as cute."

"Anko, please." Kurenai husher her friend.

"Oh, so you ship them and it's fine, but I do it and suddenly it's a sin?"

"And your…shared pasts mean nothing?" Kakashi asked, only to cringe when Anko glared at him.

"Just what're you referring to cyclops?" She asked. "And choose your words carefully."

"No need." Hiruzen said. "Anko, Kurenai. You will both be senseis to Team 8, which will now consist of Naruto Uzumaki, Hinata Hyugga and…."

This is where he faced a conundrum; who could balance out the teams? Kiba was a no brainer to put in Naruto's place in Team 7, he could easily pick up Kakashi's senses training and was the 3rd best taijutsu fighter in his class. It was the remaining two students that gave him trouble; Shino was behind Sasuke in one point and Sakura had brain smarts that would benefit both teams…while lacking taijutsu beyond the Academy.

To be honest, he did want at least ONE fangirl to go the distance…And being on a team lead by true kunochi would certainly do that….

With that, his mind was made up.

"…Sakura Haruno."

Anko let out a whistle.

"Brat's going to be the village playboy before you know it." She teased.

"Anko, one more word out of you and no dango for a month." Kurenai warned her friend.

"….I'll be good." Anko pouted. "Until orientation, at least."

The door was then slammed open, and in stormed Oyenne with and completely enraged look on her face.

"HIRUZEN! YOU GOT SOME EXPLAINING TO DO!"

She then realized 'youngsters' were in the room.

"Get out." She ordered as she slipped on rubber gloves.

No one needed to say it twice, and soon the Third Hokage, God of Shinobi, was running around his office screaming like a little girl as his doctor, who also happened to be a close friend of his late wife, gave him an enraged 'cavity search' before being brought up to speed on what had transpired.

XXX

It took Naruto three and a half hours to regain the white in his eyes from all the joyfully crying he'd done when he finally got the headband he'd worked so hard for and made his way home, a joyful strut in his step. When he made his way

The hospital staff had cleaned up his apartment and prepared a new cake for him, and they celebrated well into the night amidst filling out their duties.

The next day, Naruto found himself in Hiruzen's office.

"What can I do for you, Naruto?" He asked. "By the way, interesting photo…though I don't think the title 'Surgeon of Death' quite fits you yet, since I last checked, the only thing you've removed in poop from bed pans and tonsils."

"Oh come on, can't I stroke my ego a bit?" Naruto asked. "Anyways Jiji….do you have any books on Fujinjutsu you'd be willing to part with; ever since we covered the basics of seals at the Academy I can't seem to shake them out of my head. Almost like it's calling to me."

Hiruzen's inner ninja began to do a happy dance: A Gennin, never mind one of if not THE last Uzumaki, who was willing to pick up Fujinjutsu on top of Medical?

"Why not just use the library?" Hiruzen asked, not wanting to give a hand out just yet.

"Tried that already." Naruto said. "All I found was 'sealing for dummies.' Please, Jiji?"

Hiruzen let out a sigh. Honestly, he did have something for Naruto in this regard; he'd wanted to save it until after he became chunnin, but considering how things had unfolded for the boy, maybe it wouldn't hurt to give it to him now.

The door then swung open and in raced an 10 year old boy with an overly long scarf and shuriken, racing towards Hiruzen in an attempt to 'defeat him', only to fall flat on his face.

…..

…..

"Jiji." Naruto asked. "Is that who I think it is?"

"If you're thinking its Konohamaru….then, yes."

Naruto gave the boy another look over and let out a groaned sigh.

"By Kami, he is a runt." Naruto pointed out. "And that's coming from me."

Said runt leapt to his feet and began to blame the blonde for daring to trip the grandson of the Hokage. A loud smack across the forehead cut off the boy's taunt.

"Brat, I used to wipe and diaper your bottom." Naruto explained. "You will never intimidate me."

He ignored the Jounin's rant and took the book he'd asked for.

"Here you go Naruto." Hiruzen smiled. "Stay out of trouble until orientation."

"Hey, it's me." Naruto reminded him as he stepped out to leave. "And stop staring at me like that pal. I don't swing that way."

The shades wearing 'elite' began to rant again, only to see both his charge and intended target had left

"If you're looking for Konohamaru, he went after Naruto." Hiruzen said offhanded. "I have no idea where Naruto went…"

"HONORABLE GRANDSON!"

"Oh sure, just ignore me." Hiruzen sighed, taking a blow from his pipe. "Well, HE'S not getting a bonus! ….I really am too old for this shit…how does Onoki do it?"

In the Land of Stone, the 3rd Tsuchikage sneezed and hurt his back.

Naruto began reading his book, paying the boy following him little mind until an hour had passed.

"Can I help you, Konnie?"

"Konnie?" The boy asked.

"It was the nick-name I gave you when you were a baby." Naruto smiled, putting the book away. "And you were such a cute one….what happened to turn you into the troll I see before me now?"

"Hey!"

"Oh hush up, you know it's true. So, what can I…?"

"Please teach me!" the boy asked. "I can't stan Esibu's lessons; they're…"

"Boring?" Naruto asked. "Yeah, the basics are. But you need them. Sides, I'm a doctor, what could I teach you?"

"Just please! Anything!" Konohamaru begged. "I don't care, just!"

Naruto smiled

"Okay…don't say I didn't warn you…."

 **3** **Hours Later**

"…and now you know where babies come from." Naruto finished, taking a sip of water. "Any questions? Concerns? Comments?"

"…Goodbye, childhood." Konohamaru whimpered.

"Oh relax, in five years you'll be thanking me." Naruto said as he got up. "So, until then. You keep training to become the next Hokage, and I'll keep training to be the best Medical Ninja so that Konohamaru Sarutobi goes down in history as not only the longest living Hokage, but also the one who had the fewest casualties in his run."

That made the younger boy's eyes widen and glisten in admiration.

"You promise?"

"I promise."

Naruto found himself wrapped in a hugm in which he smiled and returned.

"Alright, Konnie." He gently pushed. "Now you head on home; sun's going down and I do NOT need your uncle or mom getting on my case."

"Wait, you know uncle Asu…."

"I know pretty much EVERY Jounin in this village." Naruto admitted. "Except Thousand Jutsu Kakashi…I'm always off whenever he goes to the hospital. Either that, or the intense care ward."

Elsewhere in the village, a certain masked Jounin sneezed.

 **Read and review, would ye kindly?**

 **Thank you**


	2. Putting the T and Bond in Team Bonding

**Putting the T and Bond in Team Bonding**

Today was the big day.

He had a big breakfast before he literally danced all the way to the Academy, 'Happy' seeming to accompany him. He leapt over obstacles and his haters, munching on an apple with joy.

He didn't even care when Shikamaru pointed out he should not be in class, having 'failed'. All he did was beam a joyful beam ad point to his headband, elated to finally be on the way to starting his career….and praying whatever team he was on did not have Sasuke Uchiha.

Just then, two familiar faces burst into the room; Sakura and Ino, in the last of their races to the classroom. Naruto chuckled at the two; it had been a cute little sight whenever he was on time/early for class; something he could honestly say he was going to miss.

He then noticed his rosette crush was making her way over to his direction, and he stood up to greet her.

"Naruto, could you move please?" Sakura asked, a little forcefully. "I want to sit to next to Sasuke."

"..I'm sitting next to him?"

He looked to his left and saw the class prodigy, who glared at him with unyielding hatred.

"By all means, Sakura!" Naruto said after letting out a scared 'eep.' He then leapt out of the way into the next row of seats and began distracting himself with medical terminology.

Sakura plopped down beside her crush, who paid her no attention, focusing his glare on Naruto's back. Sensing this, Naruto fiddled with a scalpel to distract himself.

"Good morning and welcome to the beginning of the rest of your lives." Iruka smiled as he walked inside. "I know you're all excited for this, so let's begin."

Naruto paid no attention to the first six teams; they were all civilian born that he was sure he'd never truly work with unless he was patching them up.

His mood was brightened when he heard that Sasuke was on the same team with Kiba and Shino, and chuckled at the Inuzuka boy's outraged:

"Why the hell am I on a sausage fest?!"

"Kiba, Sasuke and Shino's marks were among the highest in the Academy's history." Iruka explained. "You scored the lowest in the class. Just barely I should add, but still. We put the best with the worst to balance things out."

Kiba let out a groan out of anger and sadness as Iruka continued.

"Team 8….Hinata Hyuuga, Sakura Haruno and….wow, I am reading this right; Naruto Uzumaki."

Naruto perked up at hearing his name being called as Kiba and several guys screamed in anger.

"No fair! The doctor gets two of the hottest girls while I'm in a sasuage fest?"

"What am I, chopped liver?" Ino pouted, giving her friend/rival a triumphant smirk before it dawned onto her who was on her team.

Hinata blushed in happiness while inwardly squealing, Naruto smiled and praised the Sage of Six Paths he WASN'T on Sasuke's team and Sakura…

"I'm doomed…." She moaned, inwardly crying and having her Inner demand that Naruto better not hold her and Hinata back.

Iruka finished up with the teams and dismissed the kids for lunch, telling them back in a half hour. The majority of the students jettisoned out of the room, leaving Team 8 alone.

' _Well, can't run off, we are a team now….'_ Sakura mused to herself, still disappointed that she hadn't ended up on Sasuke's team. With a sigh, she was about to suggest they go outside for lunch when she found a round object in front of herself and Hinata.

"Apples?" Naruto offered with a warm. "They do keep people in my profession away."

The kunochi smiled and accepted

"To teamwork, I guess." Sakura cheered, the three ligtly bumping the apples together and enjoying them. As they munched on the fruit, Naruto reached into his bag and pulled out a book Sakura had never seen before. He then reachedin again, searching for something else in apparent vanity.

"Aw, nuts." He mused. "Thought my bag was lighter today…left lunch at home."

"Um…excuse me?" Hinata asked her two teammates, pulling out three lunch-boxes. "I-I m-made bent-o…"

Sakura smiled, grateful that sweet little Hinata was on her team; confidence aside, she was a welcome addition to any team with her caring nature and dojutsu.

Naruto's eyes widened as he swallowed the first bite of the bent-o.

"Oh wow…" He mused. "This is really good. Thank you, Hinata."

The heiress blushed at her crush's praise and delighted as he began to devour the bent-o, savoring every bite while reading his Fujinjutsu book.

Sakura, sharing Naruto's opinion of the bent-o, made her way over to Hinata

"So Hinata, can I ask you something?" She asked, getting a nervous nod from the heiress. "Why Naruto?"

Hinata rose an eyebrow in confusion.

"I mean yeah, he's interesting in taking up medical ninjutsu, but aside from that…well, he's no Sasuke." Sakura mused.

"I can hear you, you know." Naruto said, not even looking up from his book. "I'm absorbed into this book, not deafened by it. But please, continue."

Sakura blushed in embarrassment, making Hinata giggle slightly.

"It's true that Naruto-kun isn't Sasuke-kun." The heiress agreed with the rosette, smiling at the boy on her team. "And that's what I like about him."

She then lost her nerve and began twiddling her fingers.

"A-and…um…w-w-well…?"

Sakura, her interest peaked, leaned in so that Hinata could answer:

"H-he saved me from a group of bullies years ago." The heiress confessed. "Got himself hurt, but didn't care about that at all."

She looked down at her feet, not noticing the shocked and tehn proud look on Sakura's face.

"If I had to choose one thing, it's…his confidence."

"I can still hear you." Naruto repeated himself, before processing what had just been said. "Wait…you mean…? That little girl…all those years ago…was YOU?"

Hinata nodded, a blush on her face. Naruto's jaw dropped, his eyes widened and he cupped his chin in his hands.

"OOOH MY GOOOOOD I AM SUCH AN IDIOT!" He said quietly.

"For once you realize it." Sakura mused, a light chuckle escaping her lips, along with Hinata's. Naruto beamed back, giving a thumbs up.

"Well, at least I got two great teammates to knock that out of me!"

XXX

The new team enjoyed their lunch break together and were chatting animatingly as their classmates returned, getting some shocked reactions and more looks of jealousy towards Naruto. Just then, the doors opened, and in strolled in two familiar faces to Naruto:

"Hey Asuma, hey Kurenai!" He waved

"Yo." Asuma waved to the blonde

"Please don't pull a Kakashi." Kurenai begged as she waved at Naruto as well. Asuma merely chuckled before glancing around the room.

"Team 10, follow me."

The new Ino-Shika-Cho team followed him

"Team 8, let's move." Kurenai motioned her group down to follow her. Naruto's eyes shone brightly as he dashed down to greet his teacher

"Oh, and Team 7? You may wish to grab a book or something….your teacher won't be here for a while. He's chronically tardy."

Across the village, Kakashi sneezed.

XXX

10 minutes later, the group came to a small restaurant, where they found someone waiting for them: another beautiful woman in a trench coat and fishnet attire.

"This is you secondary sensei." Kurenai explained. "My good friend Anko, second in command of the village's T & I divison."

Naruto and the women locked eyes with each other.

"Oh, hey Anko." Naruto said.

"Nar." Anko replied.

The two stared in silence for a full minute, the air growing thick around them.

Sakura and Hinata began to feel nervous: How did Naruto know this woman? Why was the feeling in the air so…negative?

"Right, right….you two may wish to get behind me. And plug your ears." Kurenai suggested.

The staring continued for another minute, their brows furrowed…

"ANKY!" Naruto raised his hands and beamed joyfully

"NARY!" Anko followed in suit.

The two dashed to other, pushing their arms backwards and bringing them closer as they neared each other.

"PADDY CAKE, PADDY CAKE, BAKER'S MAN!" They shouted as they clapped each other's hands at incredible speeds. "BAKE ME A CAKE AS FAST AS YA CAN!"

Sakura and Hinata looked from behind an unamused Kurenai, some confusion on their faces.

"This isn't that bad." Sakura mused. "It's not…normal…but it's not bad."

"Give it a moment." Kurenai said.

The two had stopped paddy-caking and head-butted each other, flying backwards while laughing manically before rushing back to each other to begin what could best be described as a mix of arm-wrestling and judo-flipping each other over and over.

"…Still not seeing what's so bad." Sakura mused, Hinata nodding in agreement

"Oh right." Kurenai slapped her forehead. "This is Anko's favorite place, of course they'll hold back."

She snapped her fingers

"Okay you two. You can catch up later." She smiled.

"Sorry Nai-chan…" The two pouted cutely as their teammates wondered in and placed their orders; the 'calm' trio' ordered tea and a single order of dango while the other two demanded:

"The food of the gods! Ramen/ Dango."

They realized what the other had said and began to glare at each other.

"Oh Kami, not again…." Kurenai sighed, massaging the bridge of her nose.

"Ramen."

"Dango."

"Ramen."

"Dango."

"Ramen."

"Dango."

This went on for a full minute, before Sakura turned to Kurenai.

"Um, sensei? Should we…?"

"Leave them be." Kurenai sighed. "They'll tire themselves out….eventually. And besides, they haven't seen each other in a full year, this IS normal for them."

The group sat down and ordered a light meal

"Well, I'd say we should begin with introductions." Kurenai mused. "My name is Kurenai Yuhi and I'll be your primary sensei. I enjoy evening drinks like shochou and vodka. My favorite food is takowasa, my least favorite is cake."

Hinat let out a shock gasp

"B-but Kurenai-sensei, what about…"she started

"You and I grabbing cinnamon rolls is different Hinata." Kurenai assured her student. "And from here on Sakura, you and Naruto are welcome to join us. Back to introductions; if I had to say something that I dislike, I suppose it would have to be those who look down on Kunochi and a certain clan head in this village. I suppose my dream for the future is to have a full on fight with a certain jounin and see the day you three go down in history."

The gennin smiled warmly at Kurenai's introduction

"Alright, Anko." Kurenai smiled. "Let Naru-chan enjoy his ramen…"

"WHICH IS STILL NOWHERE NEAR AS GOOD AS ICHIRAKU!" The blonde shouted.

"Shut it, blondie!"

"Make me, snakey!"

"Oh, you are cruising for a bruising runt!"

A chop on their heads ended that fight.

"…And introduce yourself." Kurenai sighed, making a mental note to schedule therapy sessions from all the stress this dynamic was going to cause.

"The name is Anko Mitarashi." Anko beamed as she picked her teeth with a dango stick. "The sexy and single snake-mistress of Konoha. My hobby is conducting tea ceremonies."

That flew everyone who heard for a loop.

"What? You thought I was ALL kinky torture and sex toys? I got a limit to that shit, you know. Anyways, my favorite food is dango, obviously, but I do love me a good sweet bean soup. I hate spicy food and a certain man who I WILL kill one day, buy I ain't in a rush for that. I really don't have a dream at the moment, so I guess…I'll settle for seeing one of you become my successor."

She then turned to Naruto, who was already finished his 'sub-par' ramen and had ordered some dango.

"Okay, Nary." She announced. "Since the female to male ratio on this team is 4-1, you go for first."

Naruto finished one dumpling before starting.

"I'm Naruto Uzumaki." The boy said proudly. "I like learning new jutsu and making people feel better in any way I can. My favorite food is Ichiraku Ramen, my least favorite is ANY green veggie or fruit that is not an apple, onion or lettuce."

His brow suddenly furrowed and he took a breath before continuing.

"I dislike the waiting time for ramen to boil and hate those who hurt others for no good reason or assume they know everything without researching, and above all else….doctors who care more about making money than healing the ailing. Oh almost forgot; and I absolutely LOATHE those who call kunochi weaker than shinobi along with calling Medical-ninjas useless."

His surprisingly long list of dislikes, along with the conviction and venom in his voice when he listed them, struck a chord with his teammates.

' _Maybe having him as a teammate won't be too bad.'_ Sakura mused to herself.

"My hobbies are growing plants and reading medical journals." Naruto finished, coming back to his normal tone. "My dreams for the future are to become the greatest Medical-ninja the world has ever seen and cure at least one disease in my lifetime."

"Lofty goal." Kurenai mused with a smile on her face. "Hinata?"

The Hyuuga heiress took a sip from her tea before beginning.

"M-my name is Hinata Hyuuga. My hobby is pressing flowers, and I really l-like…"

Her eyes darted to her male teammate as her face became flushed with a blush.

"…I-I dislike my clan's branch system and those who judge others without getting to know them. My d-dreams for the future…"

She once again glanced over to Naruto, which did not go unnoticed by her female teammate and sensei.

' _She has it so bad…'_ Sakura mused with a smile

' _I can see babies already…'_ Anko smirked.

"…is to have the one I like acknowledge me, end my clan's branch system and become strong."

"…but you already are strong, Hinata." Naruto said. "And anybody who says otherwise is an idiot. And that's coming from me!"

Hinata let out a giggle as melodically beautiful as a bird, and her blonde teammate found his hair getting messed with by Anko.

"Okay, silver-tongue." Kurenai teased. "Save that for missions. Pinky, you're up."

Sakura twitched at her nick-name, but composed herself and replied:

"I'm Sakura Haruno. What I like…I mean the person I like this…"

She blushed and covered her face in embrassment as she giggled. "My hobby….my dream for the future is…!"

"And?" Anko asked, irritation in her voice clear "What do you hate?"

The answer was an absolute:

"Ino-pig!"

The female blonde in question sneezed halfway across the village during a ranting session, which Choji and Shikamaru were grateful for.

Anko and Kurenai sighed; Hiruzen had warned them about Sakura's fangirl nature…but geez this was bad.

"At least she didn't say she hates Nary…" Anko whispered to her friend. "Otherwise I'd be having words with her."

Kurenai nodded in agreement, although she was disturbed when she thought of her friends' definition of 'words.'

"Well then, let's finish this little meal and begin your first test as Gennin." Kurenai said, turning an evil smile to Anko. "Anko, why don't you tell them?"

"Why Nai-chan, I'd be delighted…." Anko smirked

"Uh oh." Naruto said quietly, already dreading what was coming.

"What?" Sakura asked

"Whenever anyone let's Anko lead, it never ends well." Naruto explained through his teeth.

"Your test…." Anko smiled evilly as she moved closer to Kurenai, suddenly wrapping an arm around her waist and the vanishing in a puff of smoke. "Is to find me and Nai-chan in Training ground 44, YOU GOT ONE HOUR GOOD LUCK!"

The three gennin were stumped for a second before dashing off in search of said training ground.

 **1 hour later**

 **Training Ground #44 (The forest of death)**

"Excellent job, kids." Kurenai smiled. "You found us rather easily and in such a…

"Awesome place?" Anko added

"…I was going to say dangerous, but I suppose that works."

The three gennin were shaking in their sandals, recalling (or trying to at least) everything that had transpired in that single hour.

"Welp! I think the rookies deserve the rest of the day off to celebrate, don't ya Nai-chan?" Anko mused, getting a nod from her friend.

"Well, you all head on over to wherever it is you need to go, and we shall see you first thing in the morning in front of the dango place." Kurenai smiled, a little worried at how quiet the trio were; Hinata wasn't shaking in terror or worry, she was perfectly still, Naruto was mumbling something and Sakura was reciting 'this old man.'

"And we'll be sure to not come here again until you're ready." The genjutsu mistress assured them.

"ARIGATO SENSEI!" The three 12 years old shouted.

"See you in the morning, shrimps!" Anko beamed

For a full half hour, no one said a word.

"Team pact…" Naruto whimpered. "This never happened…and we shall never speak of it again."

"I think my dad still has a couple of coupons for Yamanka mind-erasing…." Sakura whispered

"J-just look at this way…" Hinata tried to soothe her teammates. "One day, we'll look on this…and we'll laugh."

 **20 years later…**

" _Remember the survival tests?" Choji asked._

" _WE DO NOT SPEAK OF THE SURVIVAL TESTS!" The team formerly known as Team 8 screamed before going into a corner and whimpering._

" _Just what did Kurenai and Anko do to them?" Kiba asked._

" _Trust me on this," Ino started. "You don't want to know. Shikamaru, don't tell him. You shouldn't have told me, but you did and now I'm telling you, Kiba….You don't want to know."_

 **Present day**

"Maybe not." Hinata mused.

"Definitely not." Naruto agreed.

"No way in hell I'll ever find this funny." Sakura finished.

The trio then gave each other a look, and burst into laughter.

"We are so going to be screwed in the head…." Sakura mused.

"Yep." Naruto agreed with a nod.

"No doubt about that." Hinata said, then turned her attention to her crush. "U-um…N-Naruto-kun?"

"Yeah?" The boy asked.

"I-I…w-was wondering i-if maybe….if you weren't busy….mayber you'd like to go to Ichiraku's with me sometime?"

Sakura gave the shy girl a thumbs up in encouragement and prayed for Naruto to accept.

"Sure, I'd love to." Naruto smiled honestly, filling Hinata with happiness before a sad look crossed his face. "But not today, I'm afraid. There's…something I got to do first. I'll see you tomorrow."

The two kunochi watched their male teammate walk towards one of the more respected, but still treasure parts of Konoha. This instantly popped up questions for them, but they had no time to press

"Well, I think we better head on home." Sakura sighed. "Mom and dad want to give me some lessons and I can only imagine your dad will want to know how everything went."

"Right." Hinata agreed, shooting a worried look to Naruto's fading form as she and Sakura began the trek back to the village.

XXX

It took him a full five minutes to find what he was looking for.

"Hey." Naruto smiled at the grave weakly, pointing to his headband. "Finally did it."

As he expected, no response.

With a sigh, the blonde lit a candle, said a prayer and sat down for a while, laying down a bowl of ramen in thanks.

He sat there in silence for a half hour, the image of the late person's face on his mind. A smiling face. A happy and loving face. One that had meant a good deal to not only him, but….

Then the memories of THAT night played over in his hand. He had only been 8 and just started at the hospital when….He'd done his best and everything he could….for naught.

The blonde boy clutched his hands so hard he drew blood, only for a gentle breeze to pass by as if to calm him.

"No one will go through what you went through." He promised as he traced the name engraved lovingly, fighting the tears in his eyes.

For another half hour, he sat in comfortable silence. As the sun started going down, he got up and gave the stone a salute.

Once he was gone, someone else came to the grave and smashed everything he'd set up in a fit of rage.

 **Read and review, would ye kindly?**

 **Before anyone complains, there is a reason that Naruto seems scared/ reluctant to be around Sasuke that'll be revealed in chapter 5. Guess the correct reason and you get a virtual cookie and the chance to decide how an arc goes.**

 **The same for anyone who guesses who the mystery deceased and smasher are correctly.**


	3. Getting Started

The next day, Team 8 met at their training ground, aptly named training ground #8, bright and early.

"Now to start us off, let me be clear." Kurenai announced. "You may be ninja now, but don't expect to leap into saving royalty or assassinating criminals anytime soon. As is standard team procedure, we will be starting off small; walking dogs, painting fences, helping out at farms, pulling out weeds….and no Naruto, you may not keep weeds for medicinal purposes, we're actually paid based on how many we pull."

"…Nuts." The one boy pouted, which only increased when Anko tried in vain to supress a laugh.

"There are so many jokes I could make…." She mused before seeing her best friend's annoyed face. "But…it's too early."

"Anyways. Once basic training is done and we get a good idea of what sort of ninja you're best suited for….again Naruto I am aware you are a medic…..and tehn divvy up a training schedule accordingly. And Sakura, Hinata? As much as I hate to admit it, I will be helping you two in learning how to use your….feminine wiles, to accomplish missions." Kurenai said, no shortage of disgust in her voice.

The two girls began to feel unease, but relaxed when their sensei placed a frim but comforting hand on their shoulders.

"But not to worry, you have at least another five years before taking those on. And I'll be there the whole time."

"So, while Nai-chan is handling that little bit…" Anko beamed, taking Naruto into a hug. "Naru and Anko are back, baby!"

Kurenai suddenly cringed, and a chill swept through the village. A chill that anyone above the rank of Gennin understood. A chill that even put the elders and ROOT on edge. Stores began to close up early, people shut themselves in their homes or raced to war/bomb-shelters that they bordered up….

Meanwhile, Hiruzen just chuckled as finished one stack of paperwork, which had suddenly halved.

"Good times are coming. Good times…"

"So where to first?" Anko smiled evilly. "The Academy?"

"Eh…not just yet." Naruto smiled. "Give them a couple more weeks, makes them feel safer."

"…you little scamp!" Anko smiled, taking him into a warm hug

"Kurenai-sensei?" Sakura asked. "If you don't mind, how do they know each other?"

The genjutsu mistress chuckled as she remembered what Anko had told her….

 **8 years ago, 1 week after the life changing meeting**

 _They had both been resting after a strenuous training exercise; Anko had been working on getting one of….his jutsu to activate faster while Naruto had been fishing and then trying to heal the fish he'd caught after giving them cuts. Out of the 8 fish he'd caught, 3 had survived and returned to the lake. The rest were going to be his dinner._

 _The two had been so tired that they didn't notice they were resting against the same wall for a good 10 minutes. Then they saw each other and quiet for a few more._

" _What?" They said at the same time, much to their shock. "What 'what'? What nothing, you said what first! Stop that. Seriously! Not funny! You're annoying and creeping me out!"_

 _Their glare grew_

" _TOBIRAMA TORE A TINY TROOP OF TERRIFYING TROLLS! A TROOP OF TERRIFIYING TROLLS TOBIRAMA TORE! IF TOBIRAMA TORE A TINY TROOP OF TERRIFYING TROLLS, WHERE'S THE TINY TROOP OF TERRIFYING TROLLS THAT TOBIRAMA TORE?"_

 _Their glare then softened as they burst into laughter, rolling on the ground and slamming the ground with their fists._

" _What's your name kid?" The girl asked, already knowing the answer._

" _Naruto Uzumaki. Yours?"_

" _Anko." She replied. "Grow up to be a great ninja and you learn my last name."_

 _And thus, a strong bond was formed, while in the underworld, Tobirama Senju grumbled in annoyance._

 **Present day**

"But before we do any of that," Kurenai explained. "There are few basic things we'll be teaching all three of you."

"Such as?" Hinata asked.

Anko smiled and pointed skywards.

"Climbing a tree without your hands."

The two women in walked right up the side of a tree and did not fall as the threw the two girls a kunai.

"Put chakra on the soles of your feet and use those to mark how high you get. I reckon that pinky and princess should get this down in no time." Anko smirked.

"And what about me?" Naruto asked.

"Well under normal circumstances, you would be doing doing this too, Naru-chan." Kurenai noted. "However, considering your massive chakra reserves…."

"And a certain furry demon." The boy mumbled under his breath.

"AHEM! We think it's be better if you did the second exercise first." Anko pointed to a nearby lake. "Water-walking. Same principal, just without the marking. So, shirt off."

Naruto nodded and did as he was told, taking off his shirt and pants and strechting out his joints. Sakura and Hinata could not help staring at the blond boy's shirtless form; broad shouldered, toned…and, it seemed, an elaborate tattoo on his belly.

"Uh, Hinata?" Sakura whispered

"Huh?" The princess asked, not really paying her teammate any mind.

"You're drooling."

Blush across her face, Hinata cleared her mouth and smacked her cheeks to come back to reality.

"Huh." Anko mused

"What?" Naruto asked

"For a 12 year old, you're…decent." She admitted, enjoying the blush on her student's face. "Take that any way you like."

"Good choice of words." Kurenai mused, then pointing Naruto to the lake. "Start trying."

"Don't you mean start walking?" Naruto asked.

"That implies you'll get it on the first try." Kurenai mused. "I promise you, you won't. This'll take you two days at best, with your reserves."

"Sheesh." Anko cringed. "And people call me harsh."

With that, the gennin began the tasks given to them: they applied chakra to the soles of their feet and dashed towards their targets….

SPLASH!

"Told you." Kurenai mused as she watched her male student frown and spit out water.

"And I was right to." Anko smirked as she pointed to the two trees that Hinata and Sakura had been tasked with climbing up; they were already at the top and watching from a branch and grinning with delight.

"Keep it up Naruto!" Sakura smiled. "You'll get it…eventually."

The blonde beamed with pride in his team-mates' praise as he made his way back to shore.

"You know, with your control, you make great medic-nins." Naruto mused before catching himself. "Not that you have to! Just a thought."

The two girls blushed, getting smiles from their sensei

"What did I say about your silver tongue?" Kurenai reminded her charge.

"Save it for missions." Naruto pouted as he began to try again.

"Uh, sensei?" Sakura asked. "Can I ask a question?"

"Yes, Sakura?" Kurenai asked

"How come we never covered this in the academy?" The rosette asked. "It seems like it would be a great asset for any beginner ninja just in case something went south on a first mission."

That question took Kurenai and Anko for a loop.

"That is….an excellent question, young lady." Kurenai mused.

"…And?"

"I said it was an excellent question. I didn't say I had an answer."

Throughout all of this, Naruto had still been trying to get the waterwalking done; at best, he could stay on it for 2 seconds before being submerged. Deciding to take a break, he'd made his way back to shore, unaware that his constant falling into the water and splashing had irritated a very large and angry fish.

One that he was familiar with.

"Oh…hey there Bertha….You're…not still mad over those babies of yours are ya…Ah crap." Naruto snapped as the fish opened it's jaws and clamped down on him.

POOF!

He was nowhere in sight. The fish, named Bertha, looked around for its prey, then shrugged and went on its way.

Team 8 stood in shock.

….

….

….

….

"D-did he..?" Sakura asked.

"I believe he did." Anko replied.

"There's a scroll." Hinata noted as she made her way to where her crush had been standing. She picked up the object in question and read it out-loud:

 _To my team,_

 _If you're reading this, than my clone has been destroyed somehow. I imagine that Anko and Sakura are mad and want my head, Kurenai is surprised and a little disappointed in how unprofessional this behavior of mine is and Hinata will probably confused and the only sane one among you._

The Hyugga heiress blushed at her crush's slight praise about her, as he had been pretty on the nose so far; Sakura and Anko were twitching in anger

 _The reason I did not attend this meeting was because I am currently in the process of an experiment which I cannot trust my clones to handle it for me. I promise this will not happen again and I will accept any punshiment you decide to impose on me._

 _I am at my apartment, you may come and lecture/punish me there._

"Oh, we sure as hell will!" Sakura growled

"Get in line, pinky." Anko growled, cracking her knuckles.

 _PS If Anko is in the area and or reading this…Ramen rules, dango drools._

 _Sincerely with love,_

 _Naruto Uzumaki_

Anko tensed, before shaking her fist angrily and shouting to the heavens:

"OH NOW HE GOANNA GET IT!"

She then turned around and began storming her way to Naruto's apartment complex, Sakura following behind her with equal anger at how she;d been praised by a CLONE instead of the real Naruto (and making a mental note to worrya bout why that part had hurt her later.)

"Well, then." Kurenai sighed as she motioned Hinata to follow her. "Come along, Hinata…We better go handle damage control."

XXX

"He lives….here?" Sakura asked in worry as she, Hinata and her two sensei overlooked Naruto's apartment complex. She was already on the edge coming to this part of the village; it wasn't the red light district, but it certainly wasn't the friendliest.

Litter everywhere vagrants and drinkers, bawlers….

Anko said nothing and kept a straight face, but the three other women could tell she did not like this part of the village either.

"Apparently, it was the only place that would take him in…." Kurenai started.

"BULL-RIPPIDY DIPPIDY SHIT IT WAS!" Someone roared in anger, and you would never have believed who it was unless you were there:

Hinata herself, who was red in rage and glaring at hatred at something…only to realize EVERYONE had heard her.

"H-Hinata?" Kurenai and Sakura asked together, shock at the meek girl's choice in language obvious.

"…W….What the hell was that?" Anko asked in shock.

The heiress looked down at her feet.

"I-I'd greatly appritaite it if no one ever spoke about that." Hinata whispered. "Ever."

Sakura and Anko smiled at the Hyuuga princess, their liking for her growing much more.

"Well, let's go get him." Kurenai mused as she got closer to the stairs of the complex.

"Uh, Nai?" Anko asked, stopping her friend. "Two hot kunochi jounin? Two cute kunochi gennin? Bad side of the village?"

"I have a name, sensei." Sakura pointed out.

"Earn my interest if you want to hear it." Anko replied back, paying the rosette little mind as she remained steadfast to her friend. "Not saying you or I have anything to worry about, but…"

"Right, right…Just a minute." Kurenai ordered as she ran through hand-seals. Not even a minute later, a loud thump filled the area, and anyone who was standing was on the ground. "There. Everyone without an awakened chakra network is asleep."

Hinata and Sakura's eyes widened at their teacher's skill

"Genjutsu is more than just illusions." Kurenai explained as they marched to Naruto's room. "At its most basic, it affects the five senses, but it can force body functions to happen at your will. At the highest level, the user can even manipulate time. I can't do that myself but…."

She smiled when she saw Sakura and Hinata gazing at her with admiration.

"Oh, interested?" She smiled, knocking the door on Naruto's apartment. "Well, I'll give you some beginers later. For now, let's get your male teammate straightened out."

The door swung open to reveal a dishelved Naruto, sipping at a cup of tea and dressed in a lab-coat with bags under his eyes.

"Huh. That took longer than I thought." He mused, moving out of the way. "Well, come on in, I guess. Sorry about the mess, I never get visitors…"

Naruto's apartment was less an apartment and more like a lab with a few household items, like a futon, microwave, sink and table. There were beakers, test tubes, sterilized gloves and masks aplenty, scraps of scrunched up paper all over the floor and various medical journals and papers neatly organized on a shelf. Shadow Clones were reading said books and mixing chemicals together, some being used to make medication that was packaged up and placed into two piles; the larger one was addressed to the hospital, the other was labelled 'personal.'

There were two ice-boxes in the corner closest to the futon

"Huh." Sakura said aloud. "No offense Naruto, but this was not what I expected your place would be like."

Naruto chuckled as he put down his mug and reached for a bowl of apples.

"There is a reason I never mentioned were I lived." He smiled. "Apple? It keeps the doctor away, after all."

As the girls and sensei each helped themselves to an apple, thanking Naruto as they did so, he truned to the clones.

"Don't think being a consummate host is going to get you out of trouble." Kurenai said. "What was so important you had to send a clone to the meeting?"

Naruto pointed to one of the tables, where his clones were popping pills that made them glow and then exploding…into small pools of red liquid.

"I was trying to make a chakra/ food pill that boosted chakra to the eater's usual height while having actual flavor….but for some reason, the boost goes WAY beyond human limits and well….I've been cleaning blood all day. Still trying to figure out how it makes clones fully flesh and blood…."

Sakura and Hinata's eyes widened when they realized it; Naruto was actually making (or rather trying0 to create medicine?

"I have a license before you ask; The Hospital has me make medication every now and then." Naruto explained. "Ever since I've learnt the Shadow clone jutsu, I've increased production to 40% and I can keep whatever the hospital doesn't need provided keep some on standby just in case."

It then occurred to him that he still had clones up and about.

"Okay fellas, wrap it up for now." Naruto called out to his clones, snapping his right fingers. Half the clones vanished before he did the same with his left after 30 seconds.

"Sorry about that, still trying to figure a system for dispelling."

In walked in something out of a horror film; Naruto clones that…were misshapen: One of the clones had various sores all over its form, another seemed to be rotting with an arm barely still attached and another was forming at the mouth.

Anko and Kruenai were isnatntly on edge and drew kunai.

"No, no, it's cool!" Naruto assured his teammates and sensei. "The Plague clones are perfectly harmless...Most of time."

He then turned to said clones and pulled out a broom.

"Back! Back you go! Back in your closet! You know you're not allowed outside! We have guests, you're only to come out if it's an enemy!"

The clones groaned as the broom pushed them back.

"I'll water and feed you later!" the original Naruto groaned back in exasperation. "Now…Stay!"

He slammed the closest door shut, chained and boarded it up before turning to his teammates.

"Sorry about that. Where we again?" He asked,

"I-I'm sorry… 'Plague'...clones?" Kurenai asked, a mix of shock, fear and intrigue in her voice.

"Yep!" Naruto beamed with pride as he handed each of his guests an apple. "By combining shadow clones with poison and plague samples I…."

He paused.

"….burrowed….along with a little bit of Fujinjutsu I picked up, and I'm not too shabby if I say so myself, I've been able to come up with a way of turning clones into biological weapons! Just send them into an enemy fortress, have them expire and BOOM! Plague in the enemy base."

Anko smiled at the prospect of clones containing sicknesses as Naruto took a bite of his apple and smiled before his eyes went deranged.

"Oh, here it comes!" Anko beamed, her eyes shining in giddiness.

"THEY CALLED ME MAD! INSANE….NARUTO! "

He then leapt onto his table and shook a fist at the heavens before Kurenai, Sakura or Hinata could inquire as to who 'they' were.

"THEY BARRED ME FROM THE TESTING FACILITIES UNTIL I HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO COUNTINUE MY EXPERIMENTS ON MYSELF!'"

Sakura and Hinata choked on their apples.

"Wait, what?"

They went ignored as the blonde countiuned his rant

"COULD NEVER BE DONE, THEY SAID! A PIPE DREAM, THEY SAID! WELL! WHO'S CRAZY NOW, HUH?"

He then gave his teammates an evil eye

"WHO'S 'MAD' NOW? HMMMMM!?"

He then returned to his seat and recomposed himself, straightening his clothes and brushing some hair back.

"But…nothing I'm sure you haven't heard before."

Anko cracked a smile at her male student and patted him on the head.

"I think I love this boy." She said.

"Why Anko…" Kurenai chastised her friend in a scandalized tone before smiling. Are you saying you didn't already love little Naru-chan?"

"Why would you do that?" Sakura asked her male teammate.

"Well, I'm a doctor, or course I'd…."

"Not that!" the rosette fumed. "Experiment on yourself!"

"I heal real fast." Naruto said as if it was the simplest thing in the world. "And most of the time, every time I get sick, when I'm all better I'm immune to whatever caused the ailment."

"So what?!" Sakura snapped. "You could've killed yourself! You're not immortal, you know!"

"I know." Naruto said, apparently not grasping what his teammate was so concerned about. "But like I said, I heal really fast."

"Naruto-kun, couldn't you have used…rats or something?" Hinata reluctantly pointed out.

The boy let out a shocked gasp.

"But I love animals!" Naruto said, then pausing to reflect. "Well, except for centipedes and sharks. They just freak me out."

Somewhere, two S-ranked missing ninjas felt an overwhelming hatred fill their beings. They didn't know when, how or why, but they knew that one day they would meet someone they would hate with unyielding passion.

"Allow me to demonstrate" Naruto said, pulled out a scalpel and stabbing himself in the hand without much of a runt.

"Give it a minute." The boy and jounin said together.

It then dawned on Sakura and Hinata that the bleeding had stopped and some light was emanating from the wound, which seemed to be sucking the blood back into his hand.

"See?" Naruto mused to the scratch. "Really. Really. Fast healer."

"Still…" Sakura mused. "You shouldn't do that to yourself."

Hinata nodded in agreement and wrapped a bandage around Naruto's hand, missing her crush giving her a shocked and grateful look.

A sigh then entered the room, and the gennin turned to see Anko tapping her foot.

"I don't care what the old man says anymore. Nary, pack your things." Anko demanded. "Every. Thing. You're bunking with me."

XXX

"It's not exactly the Ritz, but I like it." Anko smiled as she placed the two scrolls of possessions Naruto had on the floor.

Her room was akin to something in a three star hotel; a couch near the window overlooking the village, a TV and dresser, a comfy couch and fridge.

"Hey, I'm not complaining." Naruto smiled as he admired the room before shooting Hinata, Sakura and Kurenai an apologetic grin. "And you guys really didn't have to help. I…"

"We did." Hinata said as she handed Naruto a small circular tube of ointment. "I know you probably have better, but just in case the cut give's you trouble…"

Naruto looked at the Hyuuga heiress in shock but gratefully accepted.

"Just don't go experimenting on yourself okay?" Sakura demanded, crunching her knuckles. "Got it?"

Naruto saluted her.

"Besides….anything is better than the last place I was staying." Naruto assured his teammates, his mind going back…

 **4 years ago**

 _8 year old Naruto sat in the corner of the streets of the village, huddled inside an empty cardboard box with emptied ramen bowls and petting a cat that looked more like a skeleton than cat._

" _Don't worry, Miss Spiral..." He cooed to the cat. "We'll figure something out, believe it!"_

" _Meow…" the cat replied weakly._

 **Present day**

"Awww..."Team 8 cooed. "That's so…"

"Sad…." Hinata and Anko said together.

"Touching..." Kurenai finished.

"Oh that's nice." Naruto smiled. "Hugs are nice."

He melted into the embrace, enjoying the warmth

"I could make so many quips now…" Anko mused as she messed with his hair. "But I won't."

"Thank you, nee-chan." Naruto said cutely.

"So wait…." Sakura asked. "What happened to Miss Spiral?'

Naruto suddenly went tense.

"Um..."

 **4 years ago, I week later…**

" _I'M SO SORRY, MISS SPIRAL! I'M SORRY!"_

 _RIP! SPLURT!_

" _YOU WERE MY BEST FRIEND..."_

 _MUNCH!_

" _BUT SO TASTY...!"_

 **Present day**

"N-Naruto-kun..?" Hinata asked.

"MISS SPIRAL!"

Naruto burst into tears and latched onto Hinata, who blushed so red a tomato would sue before gently returning the hug and soothingly patting the boy on the back.

Half an hour later, the blonde boy had come down and was ready for the punishment for not showing up.

"So, Naruto…." Kurenai mused. "Are you familiar with exercise routines and Team Guy?"

"Yeah, I know two of the members. Why?" Naruto inquired.

"Oh, well then that's going to make what were about to say even better!" Anko grinned. "Tomorrow, you three are going over to see them about how to best speed up Pink and Hinata's exercise and strength."

"My name is…!" Sakura started

"Do something impressive and I'll call you by your name." Anko repeated.

"Okay, but why me?" Naruto asked, raising a brow. "This sounds like something you two could and or should do."

"Oh, I don't know…" Anko mused. "Maybe because SOMEONE who shall remain anonymous decided to stick to his experiments instead of showing up for the first team meeting?"

"That poison could've eaten my entire apartment complex if I left it alone!" Naruto argued before sighing. "Fine, I was wanting to see Bushy-Brows and Tenten again."

"And you are a doctor, Naruto-kun." Hinata pointed out. "With you there you can help with pacing."

"That's true."

The two Jounin gave each other looks that made it clear that THAT was their primary concern.

"Besides, that man annoys the crap out of me." Kurenai added quickly. "GET REAL CLOTHES, YA DARN FREAK!"

"And you three better not smooch all the way over there…!" Anko smiled, causing Hinata and Sakura's face to turn red and Naruto's eyes to darken.

" _ **You better not fall asleep tonight."**_ He growled.

"BRING IT ON, BLONDIE!" Anko motioned.

Not even a second later the two hyper-active ninjas were throwing punches, kunai, scalpels and cutlery at each other.

"Well, there goes the security deposit…." Kurenai mused as she shielded Hinata and Sakura, a bored look on her face.

XXX

An hour or so later, Kurenai escorted the girls back home (so as to explain what had happened to make them stay out WAY past the intial hours of training) as the siblings in all but blood readied themselves for bed.

"Sorry I got to give you the couch." Anko sighed as she put a blanket over Naruto. "I don't get visitors all that often, so…"

"Comfy." Naruto mused, drownsiness already filling his form. "Better than a futon at least."

The snake mistress chuckled lightly as she messed with the young medic's hair.

"Get some sleep, you're in for a LONG day tomorrow."

"I know. Thanks again."

The woman then bent down and pecked his forehead before handing him his beanie.

"Good night kiddo." Anko soothingly smiled.

"Good night, Anko-nee." Naruto whispered as darkness overtook him and fell asleep, dreaming wonderful dreams...and making a mental not to get back at Anko the next day somehow.

 **Read and Review, would ye kindly?**

 **Next is the first mission; and I'm NOT talking about Waves! (That's the chapter after)**

 **So, many people guessed who the smasher and deceased were….so in lieu of this, I will open the board to arc or plot suggestions, which will mostly be done in single chapters.**

 **Have a good one**


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